Beginning to Heal

November 27 Right thigh

November 27 Left thigh

December 1 Right Thigh

December 1 Left Thigh

As you can see, the burns are beginning to heal, but they hurt LIKE HELL constantly and there's nothing I can do about it.  I go back to the burn center tomorrow to have them rechecked and I'm going to ask them if they can give me something for the pain.   I've tried Advil by the handfull and that doesn't do a bit of good.  As for emotional healing?  That will take longer, I suspect.  I'm still trying to understand why it is that I would inflict such horrible pain on myself purposely. 

3rd Degree Cigarette Burns - Day 5 ish

2-3 days after inflicting this second layer of burns on my upper thighs, I did seek medical attention at a local Emergency Room.  They peeled away all the dead skin and said "at least you've kept them clean and the burns are not infected."   The ER referred me to a local burn center for further treatment, because they said my burns were of the 3rd degree (i.e. deep tissue damage) and would need special treatment.  The burn center didn't really do anything that the ER didn't.  All they did was tell me to keep applying the Silvadene   (a prescription ointment specifically for burns), to change the dressings once a day, and to keep the dressings clean and dry.  The burns themselves aren't so painful because of the tissue & nerve damage.  Ironically, what's hurting me the most right now are the burns on my abdomen that are almost completely healed.  I know that I have to stop doing this.  It's not productive.  But I guess at the time I did it, it was the only way I thought I could express how I was feeling. 

Third Degree Burns to Thighs - Day 1

 

As the wounds around my navel area began to heal to the point that I no longer needed to bandage them, I revisited the burn sites on my thighs.  The result was 3rd degree burns on both upper thighs.  I don't recommend this for several reasons:

a) it doesn't hurt much because you've destroyed all the nerves from such deep burns

b) medical and psychiatric professionals tend to think you've "lost it" because of such serious injury

Self-inflicted Cigarette burns to abdomen - Day 2

As the burns on my thighs began to heal, I found a new place to burn -- around my belly button.  It was somewhat troublesome, as the bandages would rub on my pants and there is pretty much constant pain whenenever I have pants on because of the waistband rubbing on the burns.