Saturday, November 26, 2011

3rd Degree Cigarette Burns - Day 5 ish



2-3 days after inflicting this second layer of burns on my upper thighs, I did seek medical attention at a local Emergency Room.  They peeled away all the dead skin and said "at least you've kept them clean and the burns are not infected."   The ER referred me to a local burn center for further treatment, because they said my burns were of the 3rd degree (i.e. deep tissue damage) and would need special treatment.  The burn center didn't really do anything that the ER didn't.  All they did was tell me to keep applying the Silvadene   (a prescription ointment specifically for burns), to change the dressings once a day, and to keep the dressings clean and dry.  The burns themselves aren't so painful because of the tissue & nerve damage.  Ironically, what's hurting me the most right now are the burns on my abdomen that are almost completely healed.  I know that I have to stop doing this.  It's not productive.  But I guess at the time I did it, it was the only way I thought I could express how I was feeling. 

10 comments:

  1. I sure hope you have health insurance so tax payers such as myself don't have to pay for your absolute stupidity! Get a hobby that doesn't include ignorant practices such as this...

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    1. Yeah uh you can go fuck yourself.

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    2. You're an idiot...and an ill-informed one at that...you don't know what that person has been through _self harm is a symptom ...there are better ways of getting attention if that had been the desire...you're just an idiot

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    3. Wow anonymous October 14, 2013 at 5:40 PM- you're a really unsuccessful human being aren't you. And just to think: there's good people who feel they have no right to life, while you blithely take up valuable space and oxygen that could be more usefully distributed elsewhere. Wonderful. Bet your mother's real proud of you.

      Blog writer: sharing is brave of you. And not everyone's an asshole like anonymous October 14, 2013 at 5:40 PM. Some of us are human, with, like, imperfections and that. We make mistakes. We travel down some dark roads. We return richer for the experience, eventually. Not that October 14, 2013 at 5:40 PM would know anything about that. The only place he/she/ it has travelled, is clearly up he/she/it's own backside.

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  2. Wow...the anonymous asshole's comment really threw me. Putting douche idiot's input aside, I hope you are healing. I understand this journey personally. Physical pain obliterates mental pain and blots out unendurable emotional turmoil. Basic anatomy (and common sense): there is a gate in your brain that only allows the most urgent of suffering to gain precedence. Physical suffering is simply more bearable sometimes.

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  3. It takes about 3 weeks to heal completely (as I recall?) but it's been a long while. It's sad to me that some people have absolutely no ability to understand why someone would do this. It's certainly not about getting attention, as I always did it in areas where nobody would see it. I didn't tell anybody. I would go to Emergency Room in a town not near where I lived if I needed treatment. Thankfully, I haven't self-harmed in almost 2 years and hopefully never will again. But the comment directly above this is correct - - sometimes the physical agony is more bearable than the emotional/mental torment. If you haven't been through things similar to what I've been through (horrific abuse), then you probably wouldn't understand the need to self-injure. It's not about attention -- it's about releasing endorphins in your body. Sometimes physical pain is the only way to block out extreme emotional pain. Thanks to those of you who were compassionate and understanding. The main reason I posted these pictures was maybe to help someone else who perhaps thought he or she was alone and absolutely insane. There are others who have struggled with self-injury. You are not alone. And there is hope!

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  4. I burned myself pretty bad last night I understand ur pain. Why do you not post anymore?

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  5. Yall are assholes for calling whoever this is stupid. Everyone goes through bad times in life. We do stupid things. So what? If he burned himeself thats hos problem. I agree its a way to get rid of the pain. Not all of us have perfect lives like you all might. If u were in our shoes maybr you would understand y we have done terrible things

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  6. Don't ever ever talk to a person this way, I hope you fucking choke on your tax dollars you fucking idiot. I've been down this road and I just peeled a new layer off 15 minutes ago because after 20 plus years you know what to do yourself. There is nothing wrong with this person and whoever you are you are loved and understood. You are far from alone and this a troll who in real life wouldn't get very far past me. You just worry about telling the truth and talking to people that's important. People who know about this know it's a coping mechanism and you aren't specifically out to kill yourself. They will just talk to you and be supportive of better ways to cope. Your brother in arms and friend. Kyle.

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