Self Injury Journey
A blog with photos and descriptions of my various methods of self-injury that may or may not include comments on therapy, trauma, PTSD, depression, etc. Basically, it's a place for me to chronicle what will HOPEFULLY be my journey OUT of the trap of hurting myself and INTO new habits of choosing better coping mechanisms.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
More Bandages, More Burns, More Pills
Went to the burn specialist on Friday & got fresh new bandages for the 3rd degree burns on my thighs. Did I learn my lesson? Time will tell. |
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Beginning to Heal
November 27 Right thigh |
November 27 Left thigh |
December 1 Right Thigh |
Saturday, November 26, 2011
3rd Degree Cigarette Burns - Day 5 ish
2-3 days after inflicting this second layer of burns on my upper thighs, I did seek medical attention at a local Emergency Room. They peeled away all the dead skin and said "at least you've kept them clean and the burns are not infected." The ER referred me to a local burn center for further treatment, because they said my burns were of the 3rd degree (i.e. deep tissue damage) and would need special treatment. The burn center didn't really do anything that the ER didn't. All they did was tell me to keep applying the Silvadene (a prescription ointment specifically for burns), to change the dressings once a day, and to keep the dressings clean and dry. The burns themselves aren't so painful because of the tissue & nerve damage. Ironically, what's hurting me the most right now are the burns on my abdomen that are almost completely healed. I know that I have to stop doing this. It's not productive. But I guess at the time I did it, it was the only way I thought I could express how I was feeling.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Third Degree Burns to Thighs - Day 1
As the wounds around my navel area began to heal to the point that I no longer needed to bandage them, I revisited the burn sites on my thighs. The result was 3rd degree burns on both upper thighs. I don't recommend this for several reasons:
a) it doesn't hurt much because you've destroyed all the nerves from such deep burns
b) medical and psychiatric professionals tend to think you've "lost it" because of such serious injury
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Self-inflicted Cigarette burns to abdomen - Day 2
As the burns on my thighs began to heal, I found a new place to burn -- around my belly button. It was somewhat troublesome, as the bandages would rub on my pants and there is pretty much constant pain whenenever I have pants on because of the waistband rubbing on the burns.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Intentional Cigarette Burns on Stomach - Day 1
I guess I was a little more upset when I did this, because I held the cigarette in place longer and the burns were more severe. I chose the navel area because it wouldn't be readily visible and I knew it would be extremely sensitive and painful. I even extinguished several cigarettes in my belly button. Part of this was reliving a past trauma, in a way. That's a long story. Anyhow, this is how ugly it looked on day 1.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Cigarette Burns Starting to Heal
This is how the burns look about 4-5 days afterward. They are starting to heal quite nicely, but still itch like crazy.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Cigarette Burns on Flesh - after about 4 days
This is how it looks after the burns start to heal a bit (3-4 days after the initial cigarette burns). At this point, the burned area starts to itch like crazy. I was in counseling at this time and my therapist was aware of my having burned myself. I was very close to being hospitalized, she said, if I didn't gain control of this self-destructive behavior. I treated the burns by cleansing with peroxide, applying a special burn gel, and covering the burns with gauze that I taped in place. I was afraid to seek medical attention because I thought they might try to admit me for in-patient psychiatric treatment.
Labels:
burns,
cigarette,
healing,
hurting yourself,
intentional,
on purpose,
pain,
self inflicted,
self injury,
self mutilation,
self-inflicted,
self-injury,
self-mutilation,
treatment
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Stick Pins Through Flesh
Labels:
coping mechanism,
hurting yourself,
intentional,
on purpose,
pain,
poking,
self inflicted,
self injury,
self mutilation,
self-inflicted,
self-injury,
self-mutilation,
stick pins,
torture
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