More Bandages, More Burns, More Pills

Went to the burn specialist on Friday & got fresh new bandages for the 3rd degree burns on my thighs.  Did I learn my lesson? Time will tell. 

I was badly triggered over the week-end and did a few more minor burns to complete the circle around my navel.  I called the supposed "crisis line,"  but it didn't do me any good.  The lady fed me a bunch of bullshit about "letting go of the pain."  Yeah, well, that's easier said than done and when body memories hit .... this is what happens . . .

So, tonight (12-4) I'm adding some Vicodin (5) to my usual night-time cocktail of pills and I'm escaping reality.  Does this fix anything? No.  Will it make it harder for me to wake up for work in the morning? Yes.  But for the time being, at least it will keep me from burning myself any more tonight (I'll be in La La land instead).  So here's to LA LA LAND!  Cheers!

Cigarette Burn on Flesh - Day 2

This is how it looked the day after I had burned myself with a lit cigarette. 

Cigarette Burns on Flesh - Day 1

This is how it looked on day 1, shortly after burning myself with a lit cigarette.

Stick Pins Through Flesh

This is one of my favorite methods of self-injury because there's minimal bleeding, minimal scarring, and maximum pain (temporarily).  Healing time is fast.  However, you must be sure to sanitize your pins before using them (use either rubbing alcohol or peroxide) and cleanse the wounds thoroughly afterwards with peroxide.  The scar that you can see underneath the pins is from an earlier gash that I'd put in my thigh that had required several layers of stitches (because I had cut all the way through to the muscle and nearly to the bone).