More Bandages, More Burns, More Pills

Went to the burn specialist on Friday & got fresh new bandages for the 3rd degree burns on my thighs.  Did I learn my lesson? Time will tell. 

I was badly triggered over the week-end and did a few more minor burns to complete the circle around my navel.  I called the supposed "crisis line,"  but it didn't do me any good.  The lady fed me a bunch of bullshit about "letting go of the pain."  Yeah, well, that's easier said than done and when body memories hit .... this is what happens . . .

So, tonight (12-4) I'm adding some Vicodin (5) to my usual night-time cocktail of pills and I'm escaping reality.  Does this fix anything? No.  Will it make it harder for me to wake up for work in the morning? Yes.  But for the time being, at least it will keep me from burning myself any more tonight (I'll be in La La land instead).  So here's to LA LA LAND!  Cheers!

Self-inflicted Cigarette burns to abdomen - Day 2

As the burns on my thighs began to heal, I found a new place to burn -- around my belly button.  It was somewhat troublesome, as the bandages would rub on my pants and there is pretty much constant pain whenenever I have pants on because of the waistband rubbing on the burns.