Beginning to Heal

November 27 Right thigh

November 27 Left thigh

December 1 Right Thigh

December 1 Left Thigh

As you can see, the burns are beginning to heal, but they hurt LIKE HELL constantly and there's nothing I can do about it.  I go back to the burn center tomorrow to have them rechecked and I'm going to ask them if they can give me something for the pain.   I've tried Advil by the handfull and that doesn't do a bit of good.  As for emotional healing?  That will take longer, I suspect.  I'm still trying to understand why it is that I would inflict such horrible pain on myself purposely. 

Third Degree Burns to Thighs - Day 1

 

As the wounds around my navel area began to heal to the point that I no longer needed to bandage them, I revisited the burn sites on my thighs.  The result was 3rd degree burns on both upper thighs.  I don't recommend this for several reasons:

a) it doesn't hurt much because you've destroyed all the nerves from such deep burns

b) medical and psychiatric professionals tend to think you've "lost it" because of such serious injury

Cigarette Burns Starting to Heal

This is how the burns look about 4-5 days afterward.  They are starting to heal quite nicely, but still itch like crazy. 

Cigarette Burns on Flesh - after about 4 days

This is how it looks after the burns start to heal a bit (3-4 days after the initial cigarette burns).  At this point, the burned area starts to itch like crazy.  I was in counseling at this time and my therapist was aware of my having burned myself.  I was very close to being hospitalized, she said, if I didn't gain control of this self-destructive behavior.  I treated the burns by cleansing with peroxide, applying a special burn gel, and covering the burns with gauze that I taped in place.  I was afraid to seek medical attention because I thought they might try to admit me for in-patient psychiatric treatment.